Follow Ups

I will be posting rather boring observations of my state because I have to. The physical sensation is of course still there. Buzz in the head and hollow in the stomach. Already I'm slowly getting used to this buzzing sensation. I do hope that one day I'll be so used to it that it will eventually fade to the background just like the throat vibrations.

When I had that really nice sensation of being at peace with everything, I was also busy focusing on some invisible energy that seem to be flowing around me. I felt like my whole body was quite fluid. Imagine being underwater where you can feel the water and thus some soft resistance all around you. It felt like that for me except I wasn't underwater. I was within air and anti-matter or something like that. Currently, I am only feeling that within my headspace. Like my head is detached from my body and it's just bobbing around underwater. Not a bad feeling but it's just so in my face. So I have to be very aware to embrace the sensation because the opposite of embracing for me now is simply rising fear and we don't want that. I have a feeling though that if this keeps going on without much negative connotations attached to it, I should eventually become immune to the strangeness of the sensation and should successfully be able to overcome any fear or doubts I may have of it.

I was conscious of anger trying to rear it's ugly head when Sophie was again doing her drama stunts about not wanting to be in school when I dropped her off this morning but surprisingly was able to contain that anger. I knew that it's coming but it didn't come. What I ended up feeling was some mild annoyance but still clear headed enough to make a stern argument about the importance of her attitude that would determine her feelings towards school. She finally agreed to try and I was glad I could walk off the school grounds without leaving her moping around in her own misery.

I do feel a bit tired mentally and physically now but that could be because I'm not really doing anything at the moment. Will see how I go as the day progresses.